Have you ever been in the midst of a moment – an ordinary-day type of moment – and had the sense that it was more? The deep knowing that something is shifting. A course-correction is being made somewhere in the fabrics of time that will amplify over time to lead you down a new path? If we were able to walk back through time and identify all of those ‘little moments’ – I have the sense that perspective would show that they were all nudging us down the path of our heart’s truest calling. Little moments that were pivotal and powerful, but wrapped up in the trappings of normal, daily life.
I believe I sense those moments only at the times that I am most attuned to the Universe, and all of the wisdom in it. I consider myself fortunate that I have had many of these glimpses in my life. Not every day, certainly. But every once in a while, out-of-the-blue comments, interactions or connections that make me wonder if there is something deeper at work.
These glimpses feel like a peek behind the curtain, where I can see the orchestration of it all, if not the details. It leaves me feeling calm and grounded, and little more reassured that Life is transpiring in a beautiful way for me, with me as a intricate part of the process.
Yesterday I spent 2 hours in deep, soul-filling conversation with a friend. An acquaintance, really – if I based this on how many hours we have spent together in our lives. But a friend, absolutely, as someone who I have connected with deeply and authentically from the first moment we met.
As I sat across from her, I sensed that this was one of those pivotal moments, and I know, somehow that her impromptu invitation to meet for lunch was one, too. A lunch meeting with no agenda, and no purpose rather than to allow us to connect.
How I take for granted that I can have soul searching, heart opening conversations, asking questions and offering observations with another human being – let alone someone who I ‘hardly know.’
And yet I do. The thing is – when you truly feel heard, safe and fully accepted – time is irrelevant. When another human being holds the space for you in that way, I don’t think that history or time-spent is important at all. Nor are job titles, bank accounts, or life accomplishments. In that space, on a spirit to spirit level – time and details do not exist.
Today the Universe spoke to me. A beautiful message of help and hope and patience, delivered through my friend.
Two hours flew by as we discussed life and shared our thoughts and journeys, on a level of soul-baring conversation that is all too rare.
I shared, I voiced. I thought, I listened. I expressed my joy and love and gratitude, and my concerns, frustrations – and feelings of being lost.
I heard myself repeat the underlying theme of ‘something brewing’ inside of me over and over. Along with the words “I’m not sure”. I’m not sure of what’s next. Of what I want. Of the role I want to play. Of what the impact I feel deeply called to make might be.
And I shared the vision that calls to my heart, even while I don’t understand it myself. A vision that came to me years ago, in a moment of deep, heart-opening inspiration – another one of those pivotal moments:
Me. Standing, arms wide open, waves expanding out from my heart in ever-increasing amplitude, covering across all of Canada like a tidal wave. A beacon of light shining powerfully, spreading with velocity to encompass the world.
Even as I write this, and feel it reverberating authentically through my being, I am completely self-conscious to put it to words.
This is weird. People will think I’m flakey, too ‘out-there’. “Amy’s lost her grounding.”
Yes, I am uncomfortable sharing this – it triggers all of my insecurities of what people will think. And of judgement. And of caring that people might mistakenly interpret this to mean I think I am ‘better than’, ‘meant for more’, or have the misguided belief that this somehow makes me special. The truth is – I believe we are all One. Part of the same energy. So how could I be any more special than another human being? This is just my expression of it.
And while I kind of want to apologize for it, I can’t . I won’t. I have to accept that people will either think I’m weird – or resonate with me.
So, much as it makes me uncomfortable to share this vision, I have to do it. Nothing makes me feel more solidly grounded than this image, and the deep knowing that I’ve had for decades that I feel called to more. That part of my own life’s purpose is to have a massive impact.
Of what – I don’t quite know. The details are still unclear, like what I will be doing, or what role I will be filling. The only certainty I have is that I will be taking a stand, spreading a message that will help more people step into their own power, bringing more of their inner light to the world.
In my vision, I am shining my light on the world, and watching it amplify and grow exponentially with a life of its own as more and more people do the same.
I see myself bringing a powerful message of love. Of hope. Of change.
That is my calling.
I don’t know what it means. I don’t know who I am being in that role. Am I a writer? A speaker? A healer? A chiropractor? I don’t yet know.
I do know that I have a Message. And it is powerfully biding its time. Building inside of me, waiting to burst forth.
It scares and excites me, makes my heart race and then contract inwards in turn. Wanting so badly to know what it is that I am to do .
Who am I to be? Am I able to fill such shoes? Can I really be that person?
Who is she?
A light worker. A healer. A mother. A nurturer. A listening ear. A strong and wise voice. A connector of people.
Using my voice, and hearing many more pick up the calling. Hearing OUR collective voice.
Making waves of change. Change makers. Light bringers.
THIS is who I am meant to be.